Collection for the Bill Hawks Haters
by Raifuujin
Summary: Oh, Bill. How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways... in a collection of oneshots dedicated to bringing retribution down upon your head. Rated because I feel it might get more violent in later chapters...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Professor Layton. If I did, Bill wouldn't have been pulled back into the Laytonmobile…

~o~O~o~

A certain Prime Minister walked down the street to go to his usual restaurant for lunch, as per normal. Well… almost like normal. For the first time since the giant fortress attacked London two weeks ago, Bill Hawks was out without his body guards.

He had been the one to make the foolish decision. Something about wanting to look like a strong leader after all the chaos. Granted, it might have been a good idea for someone in charge to look confident to try and keep everyone else calm.

But that only works if the leader is well liked… or even semi-liked.

In short, this man made a huge mistake.

"Excuse me, Mr. Hawks?"

Bill stopped walking and turned around to see a large crowd of people (and he could see more arriving) with a brown-haired girl, who seemed to be the speaker, standing ahead of the group. She may have been smiling, but the group behind her didn't look to happy. And the ones that were smiling looked a tad insane, which is when Bill began to feel uncomfortable. He did have appearances to keep up, though.

"…Can I help you?"

"Yes. My name is Rai and this is the BHH. Well, most of these people are, anyway. Some are just here to observe. We were just wondering about something regarding the recent attack. Once we saw you, we thought maybe you could help."

Bill did wonder at the strange name and what BHH meant, but he was too proud to say anything.

"Hmm..I would have thought the papers could tell you everything you would want to know."

Rai shook her head.

"No, actually. They don't say anything about what the fate of the one responsible for the incident will be."

"Oh right. That man…Clive was it? Mr. Layton is trying to convince the court that his actions were driven by insanity. It's his wish that Clive be kept under house arrest with him until he shows more stability. But not to worry, I do not intend to let this madman back out on the streets. Layton spent some time with Clive, and his judgment is likely affected by it. I will be doing my best to see that destroyer of London behind bars for the remainder of his life."

It was probably for the best that Bill focused too much on what he was saying and didn't pay much attention to the crowd. Almost all of the faces held glares and scowls, and a few people were actually growling. Even Rai's smile wavered.

"Mr. Hawks… while it's nice to hear about yours and the Professor's actions regarding Clive, that's not really what we wanted to know…." The crowd began to come around the sides. Bill now noticed, with no small amount of worry, that the entire street was empty, save for the group.

"Oh? But you said 'the one responsible for the incident'…"

"Yes. The one who drove Clive to madness. The one who killed his parents. The one who killed Claire. The one who broke the Professor's and Dimitri's hearts. The one who caused a tragic explosion, made a ton of money from the energy source of the machine that caused the explosion, and proceeded to use that money to both gain immense power and cover up the event."

With each sentence, Bill felt fear growing stronger in his heart. He turned to run, only to find that the group had encircled him at this point.

"We want to know what _your_ punishment will be, Bill Hawks," Rai finished, her grin growing wider and a bit more evil than it had been.

"How do you even-"

"Know about that? We have our sources…"

Bill looked around frantically, trying to see if there was any possible way of escaping. Unable to find one, he decided to try his luck in breaking through the crowd. One girl stepped out to intercept him. When he was close enough, she delivered a solid kick to his shin. He fell to the ground, grabbing his leg in pain. Everyone gathered predatorily around the man and Rai high-fived the other girl.

"Nice work, Jecka."

"No problem, Rai."

Jecka returned to the back of the mob, satisfied with having done her part. Bill glared at all the faces that surrounded him.

"You won't be able to get away with this! You'll never see the light of day, once Parliament hears about this! You'll be locked up forever, along with that boy who destroyed London."

Rai's smile faded, but the amusement never left her eyes.

"One, Parliament would need to find you first. Two, I don't think you realise how many of us would be perfectly happy being in jail with Clive," Some giggles came from the mass of people, "Though, nice as that would be, I'm sure the Professor will manage to keep him out of prison. And finally…"

She paused to take a breath.

"If we could be assured of your destruction, we would, in the interests of the public, cheerfully accept our own."

Many cheered at that. Rai snapped her fingers and a couple of people emerged from the crowd with rope. They proceeded to restrain Bill, making especially sure that he wasn't comfortable. By this point, Bill was completely aware that there was no way out.

"And just what _do_ you plan to do with me?"

Rai thought for a moment, unconsciously propping her chin in her right hand.

"Well, _I'm_ not planning on doing anything to you. I'm just the facilitator and observer. What happens to you is up to _them_." She spread her hands and looked about the group. There were evil smiles abound.

"But I do think we should wrap this up," Rai said, striding behind Bill and taking out a piece of cloth. He tried to say something, but she quickly tied the cloth over his mouth.

"I don't particularly like hearing you talk, and we can only keep people off this street for so long"

Rai waved her hand in the air and someone from the back of the crowd nodded and gave a thumbs-up down a side street. A bus drove up and the crowd parted to make room for it. When it stopped, the driver got out and tipped his hat to Rai, who nodded in return. The driver and two others helped get Bill on the bus. Once that was done, everyone else piled in.

Five minutes later, the only indication of what had occurred was a scrap of paper that had fallen from someone's pocket, which read 'The BBH meeting that can't be missed! Thursday, October 3rd. Noon. The usual place.' And even that swiftly fell prey to the wind.

~o~O~o~

A/N Ok, show of hands, who was in the crowd? In my mind, a vast majority is made of Clive fans and supporters of Clershal. Then a smaller bunch who just dislike Bill in general. I already have plans in mind for making this a series of oneshots where Bill get's what he deserves, some of which I already have very specific punishments in mind. But I'm open to suggestions. They don't all have to be death. Anything that makes Bill's life horrible is fine as well. And not all of the fics will insert Layton fans to carry out the punishment. After all, the characters themselves need to exact a bit of revenge once in awhile. *cuts to Clive grinning evilly*


	2. Now He Must Pay

**Disclaimer**: Still don't own Professor Layton. Nor anything else in the games, for that matter.

~o~O~o~

They had just emerged from a thick cloud of smoke when suddenly…chaos.

The Laytonmobile went over the edge of the fortress, tumbling upside-down as it fell. Hershel, Luke, and Flora were faring fairly well, though Luke began to turn green when gravity seemed to stop working in the car. They had all made the wise decision to wear their seat belts. The other two were currently hovering in the air. Bill wore a panicked look on his face, his back hitting the top of the car, and Celeste held her hands to the roof in an attempt to steady herself. She looked at Hershel when he murmured something. She watched as he took his hand off the wheel and guided it over to a red button. She had just enough time to realise that he'd never taken the other hand off of his hat before the roof suddenly flew open and she felt herself rising out of the car. Without thinking, she quickly brought her arms down and grabbed Hershel's seat.

The few seconds that passed afterward seemed like they occurred in slow motion. Celeste glanced about quickly, the wind rushing around her, trying to see if there was anything she could do to help pull herself back into the car. Hershel hadn't yet noticed that a couple of his passengers were about to fly off. Luke was still recovering, and Flora had closed her eyes as soon as the car had started to fall. As for Bill… he had managed to grab the edge of the roof when it retracted. But as Celeste watched, his fingers began losing their grip on the metal. She opened her mouth to call out to Flora, but she was too late.

The Prime Minister flew off, yelling and wildly flailing his arms as the wind and gravity tossed him back and forth. Thankfully, a piece of falling metal soon hid him from view.

As if content now that Bill was out of the car, wings and a propeller now appeared and steadied the Laytonmobile, allowing Celeste to return to her seat safely. She kept her head down. She didn't have to say anything. The others had heard Bill, and guessed what had happened. A few moments after the car had started to fly, Luke tried to make a joke, but it was Hershel who managed to draw a smile with his response.

When Celeste looked back toward the fortress, though, the smile disappeared. A determined look took its place. She leaned forward to say something to Hershel, but he'd already guessed her intent.

"It's too dangerous."

She shook her head. Even if he might be planning to go himself, she knew it would take too much time.

"I won't stand by and allow someone else to die. Besides, he's not the only one to blame. You do know that, don't you, Professor?"

He sat in silence for a few seconds. Celeste could almost see the war going on in his mind about whether to let her go back or keep her safe.

"…I do," he finally answered, turning the Laytonmobile around and heading back to the fortress.

~o~

"…I wonder if saving me is even worth it."

Celeste turned to the person she was supporting as they walked through the collapsing hallway.

"Why do you say that?"

Clive wore a wry smile.

"Well, after all I've done, I wouldn't be surprised if the Prime Minister brought back the death penalty just for me. Even if he can't, I'm sure I'll be in a cell the rest of my life. Maybe dying here would actually be better."

"I didn't come back just to leave you here. I'm sure the Professor will help you atone for your actions. As far as Bill goes… Well, you don't have to worry about him…"

"I don't?"

"…He fell."

"…Oh…"

Clive lowered his head, his hair hiding his eyes. Celeste gave him an understanding look. Though he'd planned to destroy all of London, she didn't think he had actually thought about actually being responsible for others' deaths. However, as she turned her attention back to the path ahead, Celeste missed the wide grin that broke out on Clive's face.

~o~O~o~

**A/N** – "What Dimitri, Bill, and I did ten years ago broke the laws of nature. And now we must pay."

Hmm… Dimitri: Losing the one he loves again and most likely going to jail for awhile. Check.

Claire: … Check

Bill… Sorry, Claire, but I fail to see how he was made to pay. _Layton_ had to pay more than him. Even if Bill were to lose his job as Prime Minister, that's still not enough to make up for his actions. Now, if he really had fallen out of the car, that line would be true. As it was, though, it just emphasised how unfair it was that Bill got off scot-free.

I had been planning on doing this one later, but since Mocking J also happened to suggest it, I decided to do it now. I think this will be the only one that makes me feel a bit bad about killing Bill Hawks. Not so much because I care about _him_, but the other characters are just too nice to not be affected by his death. Thankfully, Clive's there to remind me that Bill's death is a good thing! He might regret most of what he's done, but I doubt that regret extends to anything in regards to what he did to the Prime Minister.

Thank you to The Mocking J, TalexxAltava, Abitat Eco, and Zora Princes for reviewing. *gives out BHH buttons* Surprisingly, I do have something planned with Clive, Bill, and a locked room, though it's probably not something people would expect. I hadn't thought about Emmy, but… she wouldn't take kindly to what Bill put the Professor through, would she? *smiles as Emmy cracks her knuckles* As for your suggestion, Zora… I don't think that ever would have occurred to me… sounds like fun, though. *evil grin*


	3. ThisisLAYTON!

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Professor Layton, the games would already be localized everywhere and there would be more to the Mystery Room. Too bad I don't.

~o~O~o~

Layton carefully inspected the pile of metal in front of him. He knew he could form a path if he placed the bombs in jus-

"Come now, just how long is this going to take?"

The Professor jerked at the interruption, almost dropping the bomb he was currently trying to attach. Luckily, the section he was working on was on the bottom level, or it would certainly have fallen and ruined any chance they had of getting off the fortress. He resisted the urge to glare at the asker, because that wouldn't be a very gentlemanly thing to do. Not for the first time, he wondered why they'd saved the Prime Minister. And once again, Layton knew it was the right thing to do. Darn morals…

"It won't be much longer, Mr. Hawks. There's only one more left to position, and I've already determined where it should go. More importantly, didn't I say you should stay in the car?"

The scowl that had been on Bill's face deepened, making his face seem even more horrid than it was already.

"And just who are you to order me around? I find it far too cramped in there, so I decided to wait out here instead. Also, now that I'm thinking about it, why are you allowing that boy to ride in the passenger seat? _He_ should be the one in the back."

Read: Kick the boy to the back seat and let me sit in the front.

Layton took a deep breath and calmly picked up the remaining explosive and walked over to the other side of the hole.

"Mr. Hawks, Luke is my apprentice. He has shown himself to be very resourceful and a quick thinker during chaotic situations. It's only fitting for him to be by my side at a time like this. If anything should happen to me, I trust him to get the rest of you to safety."

Bill said nothing to that. The Professor managed to finish placing the final bomb, double check that the other's positions were correct, and climb out of the pit of metal.

"Are you sure this will work?" Bill asked as Layton went over to the Laytonmobile to retrieve the detonator from Luke, who was currently glaring at the Prime Minister. Bill's voice had obviously carried quite a bit earlier.

"Positive. When those sections are removed, the ones on top should fall and fill in the space left behind, forming a relatively level path to drive on," he paused for a moment and smiled, "Really, it's just like a puzzle." Everyone in the car smiled at that, knowing that pretty much everything the Professor did involved puzzles in some way. Unfortunately, Bill had to open his mouth again and ruin the moment.

"A puzzle? We're trying to escape from a giant weapon being used by an insane man who's out to destroy London, and you're treating this like a game? Trying to escape by car, relying on a young boy if something goes wrong… With any luck, that man will be destroyed with this fortress, because this is just madness…"

Layton twitched. He thanked Luke when his apprentice handed him the detonator and went over to Bill, his head lowered so that his top hat cast a shadow over his eyes. To heck with gentlemanliness. The man in front of him didn't deserve courtesy.

"Madness? Oh, no…"

The Professor raised his head and looked the Prime Minister squarely in the eye.

"This is London."

With that, Layton gave Bill a solid push, causing him to fall into the pit. The Professor then turned back to the car and pushed the button on the detonator. He threw the device to the side as he got back behind the wheel.

"If anyone asks, we was no way to rescue him."

Everyone nodded and tried to hide their smiles as the Laytonmobile drove over the now unobstructed path.

~o~O~o~

**A/N** – Still never seen 300 and I probably never will. But this had to be done, when Bill said that line in the game. But that quote goes so well using 'This is Layton' because, really, this sort of insane situation is just what we'd expect from our top-hatted, puzzle-solving Professor.

*hands out BHH buttons to the new members*

Zora – Yes, madness sounds like a good punishment. *makes a finger pyramid* This needs some planning, but… *grins*…it will be well worth it. *shot for sounding like Bronev*

RanbowCookies – Approved! *stamps a random piece of paper* You are now in charge of snacks for the BHH. Do the job with pride and if Bill ever asks (or demands) a cookie, the cyanide is in the kitchen. Next to the refrigerator, bottom shelf, in a black box.

Rubicks – Also approved! *stamps another piece of paper* I just hope you don't get sick following that guy around. I certainly wouldn't want to. That's what the secret cameras are for. And I don't think you're the only one here with that particular type of craziness…

Afiction – Thanks very much.

MJ – 'Twas a pleasure to write. I really do think Level 5 was taunting us when they had Celeste catch him at that time… And Clive is great for making anything bad done to Bill seem good.

Let's see….I think it's time for Clive to personally get his revenge, next.


	4. Civility (or Lack Thereof)

**Discalimer:** Still do not own.

~o~O~o~

Bill Hawks sat at his desk. On said desk was the morning newspaper. He had glanced over it for a few minutes, but it largely only contained the same thing it had for the past week. That man's attack on London with that death machine would likely never be forgotten. Thousands of people were killed, even more injured, and the entire population of the underground London displaced. It was quickly becoming known as the greatest calamity to have happened to the city to date.

All Bill could think about was why it had to happen during his term.

He was up to his ears in requests for help from families and businesses, as well as demands that he fix all of this damage. He was lucky Parliament hadn't lost confidence in him yet. At least they realised he couldn't possibly have avoided being kidnapped. Now all he had to do was deal with…

The intercom started beeping. Bill quickly answered.

"Yes, Nancy?"

"The police are here with Mr. Dove to see you."

Well, apparently it was enough to just think of the devil.

"Send them in."

Bill unconsciously arranged the things on his desk as he thought about the meeting he was about to have. Among those who knew the truth about the explosion at the Polydimensional Research Institute, Clive was the one most likely to spread the information. Bill knew many probably wouldn't believe the word of the one who had tried to destroy London, but it might catch some people's interest. And if Clive could get that information, others can as well. If his involvement in that incident became known, it could cost him his job, at the very least.

The door opening interrupted his worrying. Clive entered, followed by the short constable that was usually seen with Inspector Chelmey.

"You wished to see me?" After a nudge from Barton, Clive grudgingly added, "….sir."

"Hmm… I was under the impression that there would be more than one officer…"

"Ah, the Inspector is also here, sir," Barton explained, "There was a disturbance across the street that he felt required his attention, though. He should be back soon."

"I see. Well, no matter. It was actually my intention to speak to Mr. Dove alone, so you can either go help him or wait in the lobby for the time being, constable."

The chubby officer shuffles his feet nervously and shot a glance at Clive, who looked mildly annoyed at his question being ignored.

"Well…our orders are to, um, make sure he's always in the company of at least one-"

"I'm well aware of that," Bill cut in, impatiently, "However, I feel that I can handle having a conversation with him. And if there's any trouble, I'll just push the emergency button." He motioned to the large, red button beside the intercom. Barton still didn't seem comfortable with leaving, though. Clive glanced at the constable and sighed.

"It'll be fine, Barton. I promise I won't do anything," he assured with a small smile.

The officer hesitated a moment before nodding and excusing himself. Once the door closed, the smile vanished from Clive's face. He walked up to the guest chair, but didn't sit, choosing instead to stand next to it with his hands in his pockets.

"So… why **did** you ask for me? You already know why I did what I did. And I'm sure you've heard enough about the attack from the papers," he nodded at the article that still sat on the desk, "I've already been given a sentence for ten years of prison. What could you possibly want to discuss with me?"

Bill leaned back into his chair, warily keeping track of Clive's every move.

"Well, I see no reason to beat about the bush. What would it take to keep you silent on the events that occurred 10 years ago?"

"…Excuse me?"

"When you were working as a reporter, you investigated that explosion. Since you were out for revenge, I'm sure you kept track of all your information somewhere. But even if I find out where it is, there's nothing to stop you from spreading that information yourself. So, I ask again, what would it take for you to forget about it? Though we might be spending a great deal on restoring London, if you wanted money, I'm sure I could find enough. Or perhaps I could lessen your sentence? I couldn't get you out of prison completely, but I could take off quite a few-"

"Enough!" By this time, Clive had removed his hands from his pockets and one currently had a death grip on the arm of the chair. His head was lowered just enough that hair covered his eyes.

"It's clear that you learned nothing from what happened. My original grievance was with 'a single-minded scientist and corrupt politician'. I may no longer be caught in madness, but that doesn't mean my anger is completely gone. I forgave Dimitri for his involvement. After working with him and hearing his story, I can see he wasn't the one at fault and that he'd been hurt in the same way I had been. But you, Bill Hawks, are another matter. While your colleagues expressed remorse over the damage they caused, you've done everything in your power to cover up your own involvement. They faced their punishments. Yet, even now, you're just running away and hiding the truth."

Bill scowled and felt a spark of fear as Clive finally looked up to glare at him.

"Moreover, you're telling me to forget the cause of my parent's deaths and the reason I created that machine I used to attack London. Well, Mr. Hawks. Unlike you, I chose to take responsibility for my crimes. I would never make a deal with a corrupt, cowardly politician such as you."

Bill tapped his fingers together in silence for a few moments. He had hoped Clive would take his offer, but had also known that there would be a high chance he wouldn't. The Prime Minister leaned forward, resting his elbows on the desk with his fingers clasped together.

"…Very well. It's unfortunate, but I see I won't be able to convince you. Once you've calmed down a bit, I'll tell Nancy to have the police come back in to get you. And you might as well sit down in the meantime."

Clive eyed the man suspiciously, but he did as suggested. Upon sitting, he immediately noticed something poking out between the cushion of the chair and the arm. Bill watched as Clive reached out to remove whatever the item was.

And as soon as his fingers wrapped around the object, Bill quietly pressed the red button.

Clive stared at the now-revealed knife in his hand for a moment before laughing.

"So…this your real plan." He casually tossed the weapon on the ground, "You get me to leave fingerprints on that and then claim I tried to attack you."

Bill breathed out a sigh of relief. A part of him had wondered what he'd do if Clive had actually decided to try and use the knife. He stood and made his way to the other side of the desk.

"Well, I couldn't very well entertain the possibility that the truth of that incident might get out. With this, you should at least be under enough security you won't be able to tell anyone. You might even be given a longer sentence…" Bill trailed off when he noticed that the smile never left Clive's face. "And just what are you so happy for?"

Before Clive could respond, the door opened and Chelmey, Barton, and a couple of other officers came in.

"Oh, good. Officers, take him away. As I thought, he's still a menace to…"

Though Barton came to a stop next to the chair, the other police walked right past Clive and came to stand in front of Bill.

"Prime Minister Bill Hawks, I'm afraid we're going to have to place you under arrest, for trying to get Clive Dove falsely accused of a crime and providing him with a weapon ."

"I- What? But- How?"

Clive stood up and took something out of his pocket.

"Mr. Hawks, do you know what this is? Judging from the look on your face, I'd say no. This is a listening device. With this, the police could listen in on everything that was said. Somehow, the Professor was informed that you had summoned me, and he suggested we use it, just in case something like this should happen."

Bill could only gape in shocked silence as he was escorted out of his office. Once he was out of sight, Clive walked over to where the knife had fallen and picked it up. He contemplated it for a moment before going over and handing it to Barton with a smirk.

"See? I told you it would be fine."

~o~O~o~

**A/N -** And here's the first largely non-violent fic for Bill. Though Clive obviously hates Bill, I wanted to show him being more civil than Bill. I would rather Bill die, but if there was ever a canon type of punishment for Bill, I could see it being this.

Though….for those who might've wanted something… bloodier, I decided to make an alternate ending, after he picks the knife up off the floor.

-o-

"…Sorry, Barton. I think I'll have to break that promise after all."

Before the constable could respond, Clive quickly ran after the others. Chelmey saw the young man coming and tried to intercept him, but Clive deftly knocked the Inspector's feet out from under him. A few moments later, he made it to Bill. The Prime Minister didn't even have time to shout as the weapon plunged into his chest. Clive watched as Bill fell to the floor. A wide grin broke out on his face, even as Barton, who had finally caught up, cuffed his wrists behind his back. Clive knew he had just wasted the effort they had put into taking Bill down from office and that he would likely get the life sentence he had barely managed to escape from after the attack on London.

But he didn't care.

He wouldn't regret having ended that man's life with his own hands.

-o-

*whistles innocently*

TalexxAltava: Yeah! *cheers on the Professor*

Afiction: He is, indeed, a gentleman. And a true gentleman knows how to deal with annoyances. I hope Clive's revenge was up to your expectations!

EmmyEeveeZorua: Yes, approved! …But only so long as Luxrays stay under my charge. *stamps and gives a BHH button*

Zora: Truer words have never been spoken. And… Approved! *stamps* Hmm… I've been trying to get ahold of a certain masked man with a theatrical flair who's great with robotics, but he remains elusive. I'm certain his help would be invaluable. Do you have the skills to get his contact info? XD

MJ: *laughs* Yep, I just couldn't resist. XD

Abitat Eco: That would've been awesome! But, I think Bill might've heard him. As opposed to Layton, whom no one would ever suspect… Wait, does that mean he'd make a great murderer? *eyes Layton suspiciously, while the Professor calmly drinks tea*

Rubicks: It would have. Better yet, leave him knocked out in the fortress and just have saved Clive instead. *evil laugh*

Plasmatroopa: OBJECTION! Anyone who hates Bill Hawks is automatically a member of the BH! Just the ones who don't read this don't know they're missing out on the buttons. …And cookies.

Thank you to all those who reviewed! *gives out cookies* \o/


End file.
